i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
