Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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