Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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