Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
