Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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