guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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