dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
