my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
