dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
