Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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