You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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