They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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