Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
