I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
