whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
