Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
