i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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