I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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