I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
