using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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