How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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