We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
