what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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