she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
