we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dicks are not precious.
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