hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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