Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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