he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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