I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
