i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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