Porn is love you can see.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
