You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
