He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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