wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
