Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
