i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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