There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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