YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
