You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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