.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
