pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
