pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
