pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
