i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
