i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
