hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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