i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
