ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
