Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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