Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
